Five years ago my oldest son died…….
He was only 37. No parent should ever have to bury their child.
I had taken off work that day to visit one of my favorite places and to renew my mind as things had not been going very well lately and I felt as though I was losing my footing.
In my car on my way to my destination I listened to the song entitled Give Me Jesus over and over from my car CD player. Below are the words:
I thought I had spent the day alone that day but God was right there with me the whole entire day. I drove to my destination, I toured the place that I went to see, I ate alone at one of my favorite restaurants, and I stopped unsuccessfully on my way home to pick up this same son a job application.
What was waiting for me at home that day was the deep cut of pain that no parent should ever have to endure.
God was with me through that too.
This morning as I stepped out of my shower at home I instantly had a flashback of my son lying there that fateful day but I immediately called on the God in my Spirit to take that sight away from me as He had done many times before.
As we sang at church today at the end of the sermon the last verse of I am Thine O Lord jumped off the page to me.
I talk a lot about JOY in my blogs and praying for God to give me a continual JOY when I was much younger and how years of heartache and pain came my way. Here is the words to that last verse:
I realized something today that was so special. I miss my son dearly and I can still have a certain JOY here on this earth and I do strive to find that JOY but there is a height of JOY that I will never be able to reach until I cross over and reach my heavenly home and there will be my Grandparents, My Dad, My In-Laws, My Son, and My First Grandchild among many other saints of God that I love and have enjoyed as my friends and family all through the years. Wow! Just Wow!
My son is a lot better off than I am and so are all the others up there. I have no reason to cry for them and the tears I shed today are because I long to be with them once again. The older I get the closer I come to them and it is like I can see the shore in the far off distance and they are standing there waving. I can’t make anybody out yet but I am getting closer and closer and there is a beauty there beyond compare and I can see the shore just on fire with the light of the Glory of the Good Lord and I know that my job right now is to get as many people to make this journey with me.
Hop on board and know the JOY awaits us all!
God forgive me when I whine and do not shine for you. Let me always be conscious of the effect I can have on other people and that I need to daily pray to:
GIVE ME JESUS
PEACE BE STILL BY ANNA 
O Anna, no parent should have to do that! I’ll be thinking of you and your precious family today. I love you and pray God will continue to wrap His Arms of Strength around you….Susan K
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Thank you my dear friend…love you
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Beautiful story Anna.
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Thank you Paula, you are sure a faithful friend to me…
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I think about Danny all the time. Especially when I hear certain songs on the radio. Danny and I were brought together by Oak Hill Methodist Church, but we were bonded by music. Whenever one of us would have a new a tape, we would sneak off between Sunday school and church to the parking lot and listen. One of the groups that we would listen to was Slaughter. Their name sounds brutal but trust me, they were harmless (it’s the lead singer’s last name). One of the songs that we would listen to, a lot, was Fly to the Angels. It’s the song that I sang at his funeral. Every time that I hear it, it makes me sad. At the same time it also makes me smile. To quote the song “Heaven awaits your heart and flowers bloom in your name.” If you get a chance give it a listen. Spoiler alert………it will make you sad. But I believe it will also make you smile. I wanted to share this with you and whether you want to post it or keep it private, it’s dealer’s choice. Have a great day Anna and I’ll leave you with one more line from the song “All the stars in the night shine in your name”
Tommy Lee
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Oh, Tommy Lee! I am so thankful that you took the time out of your day to write this to me. I knew you sang a certain song but the day was kind of a blur in a lot of ways. I will most definitely listen to this song and am now so glad that I know why you sang it. Danny sneaked out of church one Homecoming Sunday after the meal and while I was enjoying the singing and took a ride on his new skateboard down that Oak Hill hill. He had on brand new clothes and he tore them to bits. I wanted to pour a bottle of alcohol over his head at the time but left and took him to the hospital instead. LOL! Funny how we remember such things! I am glad that Danny had friends like you and your family. I know he was influenced by very good people and that he is ok. God gives me signs all the time that I will see him again and I am so thankful. Love you Tommy!
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