Psalm 34:18 KJV

The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit

I have several very dear friends and family members right now that are grieving so hard. Their tears are falling every single day! The above analogy is something that helped me so much when my son died and I share with others when I am asked to speak somewhere. I have even made bookmarks out of this analogy and handed out in groups. I don’t know where this analogy originated with me or know how I was given it. I just know that it came to me in a time in my life when I was desperate for help.

Grief never really stops. At first it is just like the above picture, the ball in the box is huge and you can’t even move without it bumping and hitting your pain button. A person can barely breathe during this time without hurting.

Over time the ball does get smaller but it never actually goes away but just is small enough that it bumps your pain button less and less.

My son died in 2013 and I still have days when out of the blue I will just smell a smell or hear another’s country sounding voice or see a redneck truck drive by with an American flag attached and my eyes will fill up with tears. I cannot control it or even know when it is going to happen. Most times at Christmas I will be in my kitchen cooking and blasting Christmas music. An old familiar carol will come on the Echo device and instantly it takes me back to years ago and a memory I made with my son. I will stop and have a good cry and then I will continue cooking.

My advice I give to you from my own hurts is to lean into God with all of your might. Grief has no time table or time limit. Everyone griefs differently and at a different pace. Don’t feel judged if it has been a very long time and you are still grieving.

What I do to help with grief is to search out people that are hurting in any form or fashion and step into their lives and give them a hand up, whether it be financial, a physical presence, a shoulder to cry on, or to just sit quietly and let them know that you care. In doing all of these things it will strengthen and help you just as much as them.

Another thing I do is try and rest properly, eat right, exercise, and attend my church. All of these things will sustain you in your darkest hours.

Just know my dear friends and family that I love you, pray for you and in time will see you smile again and know that God has carried you through this dark valley of Grief!