This article is about respect.

I want you to notice our 15 year old grandson, Connor, as he is shown here in the middle carrying Granny’s casket.

The reason that this picture means so much to me is that he had never done this before and was very nervous about it. We told him that even though Granny was not a heavy person that the casket would be heavy. He thought it would be fine until he saw it on the first night of visitation. He commented to me that he needed to stand on the left side as his right arm was the stronger one and that he was going to go and lift a few weights when he left that night to strengthen himself.

The part that got me the most was knowing that Connor is an avid soccer player and that he was supposed to be in Gatlinburg this same weekend for a big tournament and also knowing that college scouts would be there watching the different teams play. He gave all of that up to carry Granny to her final resting place and that speaks volumes to me!

We like to criticize our youth a lot of times in this fast paced age of ours and sometimes think that they will not give us the time of day.

Granny was the very first visitor that came to the hospital the day Connor was born and she was never anything but joyful and pleasant each and every time she was around him.

At Christmas we do a thing before we open gifts where the oldest person in the room reads the Christmas story from the Bible before we open our gifts. Granny was that person that did the reading many, many times.

Granny pronounced words like flairs (for flowers), furnityuer (for furniture), Oleo always (for butter), tators (for potatoes) but was never made fun of by any of us but just remembered for the special way she said things.

My oldest brother-in-law said it best when he said that she was a kind, simple person but that the world would be a little darker and colder without her in it. Simple……. meaning her and Pa Poston probably only went through 5th grade in their respective schools but each of them had a world of common sense and could do many gifted things with their hands and their minds.

Mark and I grew up in an age where respect for elderly people was taught just like reading, writing, and arithmetic. We got spanked more than once for not obeying that rule.

Mark made fun of a lady that was a close family friend when he was a little boy. The lady just so happened to be hair-lipped and when she said “Come over here and give me a hug ” in her hair-lipped voice, Mark answered her back in his mocking hair-lipped voice and said, “I don’t want no hug”. D. T. Poston about wore his backside out over that one!

My grandmother Huddleston was trying to whip me one time and I ran and got under the bed. She was a heavy woman and I knew that she couldn’t get under there so each time she tried to grab at me I would roll to the other side of the bed. When she walked to the back side of the bed, I would roll to the front again. This went on for a few seconds and then my Dad walked through and saw what was happening. He was tall and skinny and he jerked me out from under that bed and wore my hide out! I would never ever try that again.

As we were driving in the funeral procession the other day to the grave site, I kept seeing all of these vehicles that we were meeting just pulling over to the side of the road and stopping and even one man took his hat off of his head in respect. I was riding with my daughter-in-law and remember saying to her that you wouldn’t see much of that in some places.

It is respect. It is the old ways of doing things but I feel like in this modern day sometimes it is still the best way!

I am proud of how things are done around here in my home town and how we were raised and I hope that it never changes.

The Bible in 1 Timothy 4:8 (KJV) says it like this:

For bodily exercise profiteth little; but godliness is profitable unto all things, having promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come.

Yes, Connor missed out on possibly getting seen by some college scouts and playing soccer in college is most definitely his dream but I could not have been more proud of him for choosing to give all of that up and show his great grandmother respect by carrying her to her final resting place.

I would call that respect!

Today was the day that we had all been dreading. Granny Poston gained her heavenly reward.

I have witnessed a couple of my grandchildren be born but today I witnessed firsthand the death process.

John 5:24 KJV

Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life.

I had not originally wanted to be there when Granny passed away because I was the person that found our son dead when he had passed in 2013. I suffered some sleepless nights and trauma as a result of finding him.

As I said, I had not meant to be there and had hoped that she would pass in the night last night when I wasn’t there but God had other plans for me.

When I first arrived the 93 year old roommate that Granny had was sitting in her wheelchair on her side of the room and she was crying. This whole experience has been so heart wrenching for her as well. I went over and put my arms around her and told her that we love her too and hoped that we had not disturbed her too much with all of us coming and going and being too many people in the room sometimes. She said, Not at all I just hope that I have not been disturbing all of you. She then told me that her mother had died in that same nursing home years ago and that this process was very emotional for her. She got herself ready and dressed and rolled off in her wheelchair for the Bible Study group that was meeting in another area. God lesson # 1

The little CNA lady that took such precious care of Granny was going completely out of her way to provide us all with love and care. She had chairs lined up in the hallway for us as extras if there was overflow and she had chairs in the room too. She had arranged trays of snacks, sodas, and tea and coffee with bowls of cream and sugars in case any of us got hungry or thirsty. She told me that Granny was her very favorite person that she had ever taken care of and that this day was killing her. God lesson # 2

Granny’s breathing became very labored and family all started arriving and singing, touching, or lovingly holding her hand. Her breathing continued to be very labored and the medical staff came in more frequently and gave her medications to ease her passage. The love was amazing! My husband had spent the night there and he said as 2nd and 3rd shift employees got off work that they all came in and kissed Granny on the forehead and silently said their goodbyes. God lesson # 3

The time of death was quickly approaching and we all knew it as sons sat at her head and the rest of us stood around her bed. What love was in that room at that time!……God lesson # 4

Granny’s frail little body made color changes before our eyes and the one color that I was so familiar with from finding our son showed up. I knew the time was about to happen but the fear that I thought that I would have slipped away and was covered over with only the love in the room. God lesson # 5

The dreaded time arrived and she was finally at peace. The labored breathing stopped and everything was very quiet. I think we all were processing what we had just witnessed in our own different ways. There were a lot of hugs, some tears, and a few sniffles. All in all it was the closing of a very special life. God lesson # 6

While I was standing at the foot of the bed something very special happened to me. My eye got the glimpse of a person walking by the doorway and the body size and look would have passed exactly for Danny (our son that passed). He even had the ball cap on his head but as he walked by he turned his head for just a split second and then he walked on. I never saw the person’s face and he just walked on but just the image brought such comfort to me. Granny used to tell Mark and I that Danny came to see her all the time and this was after he had died and it used to make me cry every time. Who knows in the spirit realm. I don’t question it. God lesson # 7

Tonight I shared my experience of seeing this image pass by the door with my husband and he had seen that person too and he said that he felt the very same emotion and it was like Danny had just walked by. It was very odd. Whatever logical reason there is for this I do not care because it made Mark and I both feel that God cares and loves us so much and loved Granny too! God lesson # 8

As you have read these words what was dreaded by all became the specialness of the day as we all witnessed Granny passing into the arms of Jesus. It was just glorious and I now have a new memory of death that takes away the trauma of my previous experience with it. It was such a comfort to me.

Below is the words to a special song by Blue Highway. It is called Some Day and here are the words:

Some day when my last line is written
Some day when I’ve drawn my last breath
When my last words on earth have been spoken
And my lips are sealed in death
Don’t look on my cold form in pity
Don’t think of me as one dead
It’ll just be the house I once lived in
My spirit, by then, will have fled
I’ll have finished my time here allotted
But I won’t be in darkness alone
I will have heard from Heaven
The summons to come on home
And when my body is in the grave
Don’t think that I’ll be there
I won’t be dead, but living
In the place Jesus went to prepare
And after all is said and done
Know that my last earnest prayer
Is that my loved ones be ready
Someday to meet me there

Granny went into the Arms of Jesus Today……..Praise God!

In loving memory of Reba Imogene Poston

Meeting in the Air

I have often gone to the funeral home and witnessed the pain of a family there and thought to myself that if we as Christian people had no hope of a heaven beyond this world how could we ever go on.

The above link called Meeting in the Air will direct you to a song that I just love! I have many loved ones already up in heaven and the older I get the closer I get to being reunited with them!

Today was the day that I signed up for Social Security. I am going to start drawing at age 62 and my first check will come in March. We work and work so hard all of our lives and we pay in to the government and the one benefit of aging is being able to draw some of that money back out and it gives us security.

How about in the spiritual realm? Are we paying into a plan for our future that will give us security and a home forever and ever?

The Bible says this in 1 Timothy 6: 17-19 (KJV)

Charge them that are rich in this world, that they be not highminded, nor trust in uncertain riches, but in the living God, who giveth us richly all things to enjoy;

That they do good, that they be rich in good works, ready to distribute, willing to communicate;

Laying up in store for themselves a good foundation against the time to come, that they may lay hold on eternal life.

What this is saying is that those who are rich in this world are not to be arrogant or to put their hope in wealth because it is so uncertain. Hope needs to be put in God who provides us with everything that we could possibly need.

We are commanded by God to do good and to be rich in good deeds and to be generous and willing to share what we have.

By doing this we are building on a firm foundation that will give us an eternal home and not just a temporary residence.

Tonight, my mother-in-law is right at death’s door. My husband is there with her now as I type. Granny has been working so hard all of her life not only in earthly ways but in the heavenly way that I speak of. She will soon reap her rewards and live forever and ever!

Our 15 year old grandson will be one of her pall bearers and I could not be more proud of him than I am right at this moment.

He put his siblings to bed tonight as his Mom got called back into work and she also ran by the nursing home to check on Granny and to also make her Dad comfortable as he was sitting there with his Mom.

All of this that I write about tonight is laying up treasure.

Below is the actual picture of Granny’s Bible. She has been in a nursing home since 2010 with Alzheimer’s disease. In her early years there she sat and read from this Bible continuously and also joined in singing of the hymns when churches came to visit. She might not know your name all the time but the words of her precious hymns she never forgot.

She was a testimony to the hope that we have as Christians in knowing our Lord. Where God is……….. there is your hope! Please don’t die without it!

Forty- four years and counting!

We began our courtship on August 21, 1971. I was 15 and he was 17.

Into about the 3rd week of our relationship we knew that we wanted to spend a lifetime together. Two years later, also in the month of August we exchanged our vows.

I won’t say we have had the most eventful life of any married couple but in my eyes we have come very close.

Moved 5 times in the first 3 years, many years of military service, lots of children including twins, parents of many sports and traveling all over the state, avid church goers, decorated cakes, worked many jobs, survived fires, flooding, and the death of a child.

All in all, standing arm in arm facing each and every trial face forward with the harsh winds of life hitting us right in the face.

This latest trial will be one of the hardest for my husband. His mother is near death and he has cried many tears. A son and his mother share a special bond.

I have prepared all his favorite comfort foods this week and opened up our home for his family that traveled from far away to say their goodbyes while there was still time because that is how I show my love to him.

He shows his love for me by packing this little guy around outside so I could get breakfast on the table….. chubby little love!

In the midst of his pain he did that for me.

We work together as pieces of a fine- tuned machine. Is it always easy? No! But years ago those vows meant something to us. We pledged, we dedicated, we honored and we remember.

We are about as different as daylight and dark, but compliment just as much as bread and the butter! You just don’t want the one without the other!

Life has had it’s many twists and turns and at times one of us may take the squats or slide off in a ditch but the other one is there to give that gentle little tug or sometimes that fall down pull to keep the other one back in the road…

That’s how we roll and that’s how we do it because for better or for worse is more than just words to us!

“Suppertime”

[Sang]
Many years ago in days of childhood
I used to play till evenin’ shadows come
Then windin’ down that old familiar pathway
I’d hear my mother call at set of sun.

Come home, come home it’s suppertime
The shadows lengthen fast
Come home, come home it’s suppertime
We’re going home at last.

[Spoken]
Some of the fondest memories of my childhood
Were woven around suppertime
When my mother used to call
From the backsteps of the old homeplace
Come on home now son it’s suppertime.

Ahhhh, but I’d loved to hear that once more
But you know for me time has woven the realization of
The truth that’s even more thrilling and that’s when
The call come up from the portals of glory
To come home for it’s suppertime.

When all Gods children shall gather around the table
of the Lord, Himself and the greatest suppertime of them all.

[Sang]
Come home, come home it’s suppertime
The shadows lengthen fast
Come home, come home it’s suppertime
We’re going home at last…

……… By Jim Reeves…….

Last night I had told my Facebook family that there would be no writings as Granny was really sick and we needed your prayers.

I have just woke up in the middle of the night and God wants me to share this so I am writing after all.

Mark and his sister and I had just been sitting with Granny last night and she just lay there seemingly in a very deep sleep and oblivious to any of our conversations.

Mark and I had been there a couple of hours and we needed to go to the grocery as family is coming in and I needed to restock some things.

I had told Mark earlier in the day that even though Granny lay silent that I have been told that loved ones still hear us talk while we are in their room. I told him that we all need to let her know that we love her and we are all there.

As we got up to leave Mark went over and told his Mom that he loved her and then stepped aside. I went over and touched her right shoulder and said, Granny, this is Anna. I love you… we have got to leave now so I can go cook supper.

When I said the word supper her eyes popped open like a little bird in the nest. Her mouth opened and she tried to speak. I took a step back and motioned for Mark and Martha to come up as Granny was trying to say something.

Martha said, Mama, are you hungry and Granny said yes.

We all three stood amazed and just looked at each other. I said I don’t know if it is safe for us to try and feed her something as earlier in the day the staff had tried and she couldn’t swallow. I suggested we go get someone and ask.

An RN just so happened to be outside the door in the hallway. I went and told her that Granny had opened her eyes and said she was hungry and was it alright to feed her something. At first the nurse was reluctant and said, but she can’t swallow. Soon, she decided to come in the room and check. She saw as we had that Granny was alert. She went to the cart and got a nutrient food item that seemed the consistency of applesauce or similar. She reentered the room with the food source in a cup and a spoon in her hand.

The nurse raised the bed a little and began to feed Granny. Slow, miniature bites but yes she was swallowing!

The atmosphere in the room instantly changed and we all became excited. Granny had just eaten 2 ounces of food and very little of it drooled out of her mouth.

We were overjoyed! We know her time on this earth is short and we thought it might even be this weekend but God’s timing is not our timing and He let us know that tonight.

As Mark and I were driving home, the words to the song Suppertime by Jim Reeves came to my mind. WLIV radio station used to play this as their sign off song in the afternoon when I was a kid and the time usually hit as Daddy was driving us home to the farm and the sun was setting low and it always makes me think of that special time and of my Dad.

Granny has always talked a tremendous lot about her Mom and Dad since she has had the Alzheimer’s and how she needs to get home to them.

Tonight, as I said the word supper it was like a bell suddenly rang in Granny’s head and she immediately woke up. It made me wonder if her Mother used to call her in at supper time.

Whatever the reason was, I believe that we saw God at work tonight and we have family coming in to see Granny today and everyone is gathering in and God in His great love is giving us all that chance to be with her before He calls her home for that great suppertime!

Midday I was in my kitchen trying to open a glass jar of kraut that I had bought and the lid was stuck like cement. I tried all the usual methods to get it off but it would not budge. I remembered my 30+ year old mechanism that is pictured above and once again it worked like magic!

The above is a homemade jar opener and it was made and screwed under one of my kitchen cabinets years ago by a neighbor when we first moved onto this land.

This man’s farm joined our land and he made a point of immediately coming over and welcoming our young family to Okalona Road.

He was a genius of a man when it came to woodworking or making something unique with his hands.

I remember we used to have this one extremely steep bank in our front yard that we could barely mow with a push mower because it was straight up and down. This same neighbor came over one day unannounced with his tractor and front end blade and cut into that bank and instead of straight down it now is a smooth incline that can be safely mowed. He even sowed it in grass to finish it off. He never took a penny for anything he did for us.

This same neighbor always planted a garden and I did too back then and I would ask him in the fall if he would turn my garden spot and then ask again in the spring if he would turn it and disc it for me so I could do my planting. His garden always outshined mine except for one year when I spread amonium nitrate on it before he turned it in the fall and then spread a little more before he turned and run the disc through it in the spring. This was the only year that my garden was prettier than his and he went on and on about it and I felt proud.

Another neighbor down the road here passed by one day and saw me and my oldest son trying to mow a field with an old beat up riding mower. My son was chopping fence rows and I was mowing. This neighbor turned that huge John Deere down our drive and pulled in that field and it felt like the calvary had arrived! He went about 3 rounds and that field was done and then he drove away like John Wayne riding into the sunset.

A lady neighbor down the road crocheted an edging on a pair of embroidered pillowcases for me because I did the embroidery but didn’t know how to do the edging. Just this last week those pillowcases got a rip in them after years and years of use and now I am trying to figure out how I can preserve her edging somewhere on something else because she is dead and gone now.

One year we ran out of firewood and money too and must of said something to somebody that got overheard and a neighbor delivered and ricked a load of wood to our house while we were at work.

One neighbor in front of us had bad emphysema and every time Mark would make a round or two on the riding mower he would start yelling and saying…. Whooo Mark, take a break!…. Mark would get off that mower and they would sit and talk for an hour sometimes!

Mark and I are much older now and we see little things in our neighborhood that can be done to help out and we try and do them free of charge cause that was what was done for us years ago and we never forgot it. We were handed down a legacy from older neighbors and it is called being neighborly.

I don’t know anybody near us that wouldn’t come running if we had a fire or any kind of disaster and we would do the same, in fact our whole little town is pretty much just like that!

I call that neighborly and we need much more of it!

Jesus gave 2 major commands and if you do just these 2 things then everything else falls pretty much in place.

# 1 is to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind and

# 2 is to love your neighbor as you love yourself

The Greatest Commandment

(Deuteronomy 6:1-19; Mark 12:28-34)

34But when the Pharisees had heard that he had put the Sadducees to silence, they were gathered together. 35Then one of them, which was a lawyer, asked him a question, tempting him, and saying, 36Master, which is the great commandment in the law? 37Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. 38This is the first and great commandment. 39And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. 40On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

….. and I call that Loving God and Being Neighborly….

My mother-in-law has been an Alzheimer’s patient for many years. I have sadly watched the disease rob her of her vitality and her remembrances.

I have known her intimately since I was 15 when I started dating her second son.

I ended up being the very first daughter-in-law, the outsider to enter her world.

She raised 3 sons and 1 daughter while cooking, cleaning, sewing, gardening, and singing in a gospel group with her husband and 3rd son.

Everytime I was at her house there was either something good already cooked and warm on the stove or she would whip something up in just a few minutes.

When my family first moved into the neighborhood, my husband-to-be used the skill of his Mother to entice me by bringing over a chocolate cake to welcome us to the neighborhood.

I was intimidated by her to say the least because she was good at all things. I felt very shy around her and was careful to mind my manners.

When my husband and I married with him being 20 and myself being only 17 I could feel a certain amount of disapproval behind her smiles but she was never unkind.

We immediately moved away as my husband was enlisted in the Air Force and stationed in Georgia. That move was probably the very best thing that could have happened to us as my mother-in-law still had small children at home and her life was very full and I was a floundering newlywed that lived too far away to become dependent.

We visited Livingston often and our two families were neighbors so visiting our families was very easy and convenient.

My husband got out of the Air Force in 1976 and we moved back to Livingston. Up until our return to Livingston I had been finishing high school at night, being a housewife, and birthing our very first baby son.

When we returned  to Livingston, our world as we had known it for 3 years rapidly changed. For financial reasons I was going to have to go to work and we were going to have to find a babysitter for our young son. I was so afraid to leave our son with just anyone that I wanted my mother-in-law to be our babysitter. She did babysit some but basically encouraged us to keep looking for another person to do it.

I was young, stubborn, and somewhat hurt that she wasn’t accepting our nudge to be our babysitter. All of that hurt was completely my fault as I see so clearly now…. her youngest child was just 7 years older than our firstborn! For goodness sakes I should have understood that but I didn’t at the time. I took it personal.

She so loved our firstborn as he was her very first grandchild and she was always his very favorite person besides us as his Mom and Dad and that relationship remained until the day he died.

Our second pregnancy brought twins and my Dad had died when I was pregnant with our firstborn and my Mom had remarried before the twins and she and my step-dad had moved away. Once again I needed lots of help as I was still working and raising my family and Granny was still raising her family and it was hard for me to understand. Once again, that lack of understanding was on my part.

I harbored resentment in my heart towards my mother-in-law during those years and was blind to the struggles that she was going through. My father-in-law had become sick and had to quit his job because he wasn’t able to do it anymore. Money was tight for them and she was just like the virtuous lady in Proverbs 31. She held yard sale after yard sales in her basement and worked a garden and sold vegetables. She was very frugal and I really don’t know how she did it but she could always stretch so little into so much.

By the time we had our 4th child I had pretty much developed the mindset that these 4 children were all ours and we had brought them into the world and they were our responsibility and my resentment towards my mother-in-law eased a lot.

For the very first time I began to understand and see my mother-in-law in a different light when I became a mother-in-law myself. A son and his Mom have a very special bond and when a new female comes into the picture it takes a lot of adjusting. The son always confides and seeks advice from his Mom and us Mom’s are used to jumping in, protecting, and directing him. We have to learn to let go and push him towards his wife and it’s a hard thing to do.

After my father–in-law died, my mother-in-law and I became much closer and honestly it was never her being distant but me feeling inferior. I was the one with the problem!

I can honestly say that she became my mother too and when she sold the homeplace and moved into an apartment I was right in there shoulder to shoulder helping.

My mother-in-law is a precious example to me. I have watched the Alzheimer’s slowly suck the life out of her and she is now stair-stepping downward towards her heavenly reward. Whenever God chooses to call her home I know He will welcome her in with the words …… My good and faithful servant…..

The special woman I call my other Mother gave to me the man that I love and I thank God for her. She is one awesome lady!